Day 21 - A Melody

I am a sucker for a mellow song.  My friends have known this about me since high school.  There is something about the natural rhythm of strings playing on a hollow carved out piece of wood.  It's so natural and smooth.  And with the accompaniment of a soft voice and the right words can just make everything right.

Do you have that song that just puts everything into perspective?  You could be driving in your car thinking about the traffic, what you're going to have for dinner when you get home, or all the numerous things you still have to get done before more things pile up.  But then that song comes on the radio and just for a moment you're entwined with the melody and everything is at peace.  Because all that matters at that moment in your life is you.  The other things will happen when they happen.  But when you're all alone in your car, it's just you and the melody, so take it in. Hmm..

Today, I found God's love in a melody.  It reminded me to slow down and take some time to breath in the wonders and joys of my blessed life.  Take a moment for yourself, my friends, and listen to that song :)

P.S. A new goal of mine: learn to play the acoustic guitar.  Jack Johnson makes it looks so peaceful :)

Day 17 - Rewarded with Smiles and Thank-yous

When I walked into work today at the Middle School, my mail box was full of these thank-you notes! The notes were from one of the classes that I have been visiting since January giving talks to them about making Peace at school using the Peacebuilders Program.

You have no idea how far these students have come.  I remember the first time I entered their classroom all the students were getting out of their seats, walking around the room, calling each other names, and talking back to me and the teacher.  Once a month, I came back to this class and gave a talk about a Peacebuilder topic.  The topics included apologizing, seeking wise people, noticing hurts, giving up put downs, praising others, and helping others.  Soon I had these kids hooked on building Peace at school and having a positive attitude.  All I had to do was plant the seed and watch it grow.  It has been such a reward watching these kids use some of the skills that I have taught them.  And it was so rewarding to have a mailbox full of thank-you notes telling me that they are going to "spread the peace to other schools," and that they are "now a peacebuilder."  Just that morning on my way to work I was praying about my choice to be a social worker.  I told God that I have chosen to be a social worker to serve Him and His people.  I told God that it didn't matter how much money I would make, because I knew that the rewards for serving Him would be so much greater and more meaningful for my life.  And what do you know? After I said a prayer to God about my choice to do social work for Him,  he sent me a reward of smiles and thank-yous that very day.

Day 14 - Peace of Mind

Prayer for Peace of Mind

O Heart of Jesus, I place all my trust in

You, hoping for all things from Your

goodness.  You make a root flourish

beneath the soil; You can make fruitful the

darkness in which I find myself today. I 

adore You in all Your purposes even

without knowing them; Your will be done,

not mine.  May I be patient!  It is so 

difficult to realize these trials,

heartbreaking as they are, can be turned

into blessings.  Lord, give me peace of

mind, peace of heart, and peace of soul, as I 

offer You my thoughts, my words, my 

actions, and yes, Lord my sufferings.  May

they all be for Your greater glory. Amen.

I found this prayer in my sister's closet today.  As I read through it, I realized that this is just the prayer that I need to send up to God right now.  Going through trials and darkness are the hardest times to realize that so much more goodness can come from suffering!  I wouldn't believe this unless I have experienced it myself.  It's because of my trials and sufferings that I was able to find life and peace.  It is so beautiful.

Because of all the darkness I am experiencing right now,  my mom is looking to move out of our home.  Just yesterday my family went driving around new neighborhoods that my mom might be moving to.  It was such a blessing finding some beautiful homes that we can move to.  I am very excited to get out of this old home that is in a neighborhood full of crime. 

Now you might be asking me, "why do you want to be a social worker if you can't handle the crime?"  Well, I have an answer for you.  There is a difference when the crime is in your own home and violates you personally.  I understand that I will be working with criminals as a social worker at some point in my career, and I have honestly already worked with juvenile delinquents.  By working with them outside of my home in an institution that is structured around serving them, I feel that I am safe and able keep my boundaries.  You don't see police men comfortable with criminals coming into their homes.  Yet, police men work with criminals everyday.  Therefore, social workers can work with criminals and not bring them into their own homes either.  I'm sure if you've had a job you can understand this.  Maybe you work at a McDonald's.  You're fine serving people hamburgers and fries.  But maybe once you've worked there you don't want to bring that home.  Maybe you'll never eat another hamburger from McDonald's again.  Or maybe you work in an office.  You wouldn't want to bring all of your paperwork home from the office.  You want your home to be your safe haven and the place you can escape from your job so that you can rejuvenate for the next day of work.

Okay so now that I went on a tangent on working with criminals as a social worker, let's get back to what I was talking about before "Peace of Mind."  I pray that God gives me a peace of mind about my life and this situation and I trust that God is looking out for me, trying to find me a safe haven to live.  I pray in anticipation for the blessings that await me at the end of this storm.

Day 12 - Something Beautiful

Something Beautiful by Need to Breath 

 In your ocean, I'm ankle deep
I feel the waves crashin' on my feet
It's like I know where I need to be
But I can't figure out, yeah I can't figure out

Just how much air I will need to breathe
When your tide rushes over me
There's only one way to figure out
Will ya let me drown, will ya let me drown

Hey now, this is my desire
Consume me like a fire, 'cause I just want something beautiful
To touch me, I know that I'm in reach
'Cause I am down on my knees, I'm waiting for something beautiful
Oh, something beautiful

And the water is risin' quick
And for years I was scared of it
We can't be sure when it will subside
So I won't leave your side, no I can't leave your side

Hey now, this is my desire
Consume me like a fire, 'cause I just want something beautiful
To touch me, I know that I'm in reach
'Cause I am down on my knees, I'm waiting for something beautiful
Oh, something beautiful

In a daydream, I couldn't live like this
I wouldn't stop until I found something beautiful
When I wake up, I know I will have
No, I still won't have what I need

Hey now, this is my desire
Consume me like a fire, 'cause I just want something beautiful
To touch me, I know that I'm in reach
'Cause I am down on my knees, I'm waiting for something beautiful
Oh, something beautiful (fade out)

I just heard this song on KLove and there some just something about this song that spoke to me at this moment in my life.  I'm still going through this rough patch with God, and I feel like the man in this song asking if God is going to let me drown or if he is going to keep me safe.  I especially like this part of the song:  "And the water is risin' quick; And for years I was scared of it; We can't be sure when it will subside; So I won't leave your side, no I can't leave your side." Honestly, I feel like exactly how this man is drawing a picture for us.  I feel like my feet are stuck in the sand and the water is starting to rise quickly (my fears of the future and my safety and anything that Satan has put in my way to drown me).  I am so scared of the water and if I will drown or when it will subside.  So I won't leave your side, no I can't leave your side!  So I hold closer and tighter to God, who is my rock and my shelter in this storm!  So I get down on my knees and I pray for something beautiful to touch me!  And honestly it wasn't until I reached out to God and asked for his protection in this situation I felt more peaceful and safe.  I know that God is going to protect me. And that is something beautiful!

Day 10 - Hope is the thing with feathers

You know that spring is almost here when you wake up in the morning to the sound of a bird singing outside your window.  I don't know about you, but during the winter days when I wake up in the morning all I want to do is hit the snooze button and stay in my warm, cozy bed of security and bliss not ready yet to face another day of duties and responsibilities.  Yet with spring just around the corner and the sound of my little songbird outside my window in the morning gives me a boost to embrace the day with equal amounts of courage and peace to face whatever the day has planned for me.  

Birds are an incredible part of my spirituality.  I know there is the religious symbol of the Holy Spirit as a dove, and for me the symbol of a bird as the Holy Spirit doesn't hit too far from my heart.  I have yet to speak of my story of how I began to believe in God.  I was raised Catholic and went to Catholic schools my entire life.  Honestly, right now I currently attend a Catholic college.  As a child I went to church mostly because I was required to at school and occasionally if my parents or other family members (my grandma) brought me along with them. 

It wasn't until high school that I began my relationship with God.  I went on a retreat called Kairos, and I can honestly say that this retreat changed my life forever.  This was the first time that I discovered who I am on the inside.  On this retreat, I dealt with a painful past that for most of my life I didn't realize had an effect on me.  It wasn't something that I thought about day in and day out.  But as I started the journey into my heart, I began seeing all the darkness and pain that I never even knew existed.  On this retreat, we had a time called "shared prayer,"  which is the moment where each person in the group takes a turn praying out loud to God.  I took my first leap of faith and poured it all out to God in front of girls that I was only acquainted with in high school.  I sobbed and wailed in horrible pain to God for the first time in my life. I cried and cried for every year of my life that I kept all these feelings locked inside my heart.  As the sobs finally subsided and every piece of my heart was on the floor in front of me, I heard the faintest sound of a songbird outside singing peace into my heart and I knew that everything was going to be okay.  That marked the first time in my life that God made his presence known to me in my life, with a songbird. 

Recently hearing a songbird outside my window reminded me that God is with me and everything is going to be okay.  And it gives me the courage to face the day, whatever awaits me, may it be a painful day full of hardships and tribulations, I know that God will be there.   

Hope is the thing with feathers by Emily Dickinson

Hope is the thing with feathers

That perches in the soul,

And sings the tune--without the words,

And never stops at all,

And sweetest in the gale is heard;

And sore must be the storm

That could abash the little bird

That kept so many warm.

I've heard it in the chillest land,

And on the strangest sea;

Yet, never, in extremity,

It asked a crumb of me.

If I had to choose a favorite poem this would be it.  The thing with feathers sings a tune inside my soul and no words are necessary to understand the peace it brings.  I have heard this thing with feathers sing to me in the chillest land, on the strangest sea, and through the hardest times in my life.  This thing with feathers has given me so much warmth and is always there every morning singing to my soul, and never once asked a single thing in return from me.  

Day 9 - I am a Peacebuilder, are you?

So I have mentioned this Peacebuilder program at this school that I work at a few times now. If you want to know more about it, you can click the image above and it will direct you to the Peacebuilders' web site.

At this school that I work as a social work intern, I do presentations on Peacebuilders in classrooms. Or as what the kids call me, "The Peacebuilder Chick." Doing this program is so encouraging. At first many of the kids were really skeptical and thought that it was lame. I mean if I was a pre-teen, I would think the same thing. Then the more and more I come to their classrooms and talk about real stuff that they are experiencing at school like name calling, bullying, and asking others for help, it hits them pretty close to home. Now I can see it in their eyes when I come to the classroom, they want to learn the next thing to make their world a more positive place. It's doing this program everyday that makes me really feel like I'm making a difference in the world, and that I'm living out the purpose God has given me.