Today was not as an eventful day as my daily routine. Mother nature had another agenda for me today. Snow, snow, and more snow!! All of this snow has put a pause on almost everything in my life. I missed three days of work last week because I work for a school and I missed one day of classes last week. Today I missed yet another day of classes and work, because of the snow. Having all of this free time sitting at my house is like God begging me to do some soul searching.
It is those moments when you are truly alone with yourself that you are forced to get to know yourself. And hopefully you like it. Well today I had some free time to read a book a friend of mine let me borrow called The Shack. If you have not read it, it is a novel about this man, Mack who goes camping with his family and the family vacation suddenly takes a tragic twist. His daughter goes missing only for him to find out that she was murdered in a secluded shack in the woods. As a Christian, Mack struggles with understanding how his so called "God" could allow such a painful and horrendous thing happen to his daughter, him, and his family. The novel goes on to be Mack's journey finding God in this mess, specifically back at The Shack.
The part of the book that I just read about today was when Mack meets another character in the book that represents Jesus out at The Shack. Mack and Jesus go on a walk together and Jesus bluntly asks Mack to walk on the water with him. But Mack is really hesitant and afraid to attempt walking on the water. As I'm reading the book, my mind is screaming at Mack to walk on the water with Jesus! I imagined myself there with Jesus asking me to walk on the water with Him and what an amazing experience that would be to WALK ON WATER! I thought who in their right mind would not want to have the chance to walk on water with Jesus?
As I thought about the meaning of this passage in this novel more, I thought this is about more than just walking on water; it is about trusting God. I changed the context to my life. I imagined me standing there with God (or Jesus) with my future all hazy and unclear before the both of us. Then God holds out His hand to me and asks me to trust Him and follow the path of my future He has laid out for me; to do what he has called me to do. And in my heart I know I am afraid. I have no justifiable reason to be afraid. What am I afraid of? What do I have to lose? I know in my heart that if I follow God's plan, I will be rewarded more than I can imagine. But I also know that I would have to give up worldly desires such as being rich, powerful, or famous and taking the chance of getting hurt. And believe me I know that I do not want to trade in the love that God has for me for money. It is so hard for me to describe in words what God's love is like to convince others that it is much more rewarding than any materialistic thing. How about this: Can you go to your bank account and ask it advice on how to handle your relationships?; Can you go to your paycheck to ask for forgiveness for hurting others in your life?; Can you go to your stocks and tell them all that you have done wrong and suffered from and they love you unconditionally no matter how many times you mess up? When put in this sort of analogy, it is so easy to see the answers. And believe me I know the journey of faith is not that easy. The desire to earn a lot of money to compete with others who own nice shoes, clothes, houses, and go on fancy vacations consumes me too. And that is why it is so hard for me like many others to trust that God will provide for me. Then I think "If I can't trust God, then who can I trust?" God knows everything, created everything, and wants good for me. There is nothing else like that in this world that I can trust.
God found me today in my Shack all snowed in, and I discovered in my soul that God is still calling me to trust Him with my future.
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